


Searching

by fab_fan



Category: Motherland: Fort Salem (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Destruction, Emotions, Explosions, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Long, Maybe - Freeform, Mistakes are my own, One Shot, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 01, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:15:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fab_fan/pseuds/fab_fan
Summary: The building collapsed.Goddess, she was under the building.Her chest seized at the thought.She was trapped.No way out.She choked on the warm red liquid coating her lips.She was going to die.All she could do once the idea struck her, settled into her bones, was imagine a pair of bright blue eyes and an easy charming grin. A Cession drawl.Would anyone tell Raelle?Would Raelle even care?
Relationships: Raelle Collar/Scylla Ramshorn
Comments: 19
Kudos: 180





	Searching

Dark.

Pain.

No air.

Can’t breathe.

Small.

Each thought sliced through Scylla’s mind as she slowly became aware of her surroundings, of herself. Of the agony radiating along her body, spreading out to her fingertips, and the slowly numbing bleakness flowing down to her legs like a cold wave rippling toward shore, consuming everything in its white tipped roaring path. The thick stench of blood and smoke filled her lungs along with dirt and debris, causing her throat to burn and violent horrendous coughs to rip from her chest. She felt sticky slickness coat her tongue and drip down into her hazy exhausted eyes. She blinked, trying to get them to focus, to be able to see anything in the fuzzy obscure pitch blackness that seemed to shrink with each stilted gasp. A heavy weight strained against her chest and stomach. It felt like a boulder pushing down into her, trying to cleave her in two. She sputtered for air. Jagged edges jabbed at her sides, and she could feel crumbling stone and rock nudging at her head. 

It felt like the entire world was collapsing on top of her. The universe caving in. Dark and loud but oh so quiet. Whatever breath she was able to wheeze tasted like fire and tears. Thick and black and coiling in her body like a snake, a python swirling and griping every single one of her organs, squeezing until there was nothing left. Until she gave in and closed her eyes. 

Every part of her hurt. Her head pounded, and she still couldn’t get her eyes to focus. 

Pain.

Dark.

Small.

Can’t breathe.

No air.

Her mind refused to concentrate, to do anything except panic.

She couldn’t panic.

She worked to flex her hand, bring it to her forehead, touch her brow and anchor herself, but she couldn’t move her arm. Her fingers wouldn’t wiggle. 

All she could smell was burning. Was ash. Soot. Coppery iron. Bitter and sickly.

Clenching her jaw hard enough to send a jolt along the back of her teeth and up to her temple and closing her eyes, she willed herself to relax. Be calm. Think.

She had to think.

Just think.

Remember.

What happened?

Where was she?

How could she get out of there?

Bits and pieces slowly came back.

A building. A factory. It had been a meeting space. A safehouse. An important part of the Spree’s logistical setup. Where much of their Intelligence seekers had been posted. Had been converging. 

An attack.

The Camarilla.

Word getting out that witches were in danger. Were fighting. 

Spree were being killed. Needed help. Assistance.

She was closest. Her and a few others. Closer than any other Spree cell or even an army unit.

An army unit that might not even come.

They went to help.

The building….

The building collapsed.

Goddess, she was under the building.

Her chest seized at the thought.

She was trapped.

No way out.

She choked on the warm red liquid coating her lips.

She was going to die.

All she could do once the idea struck her, settled into her bones, was imagine a pair of bright blue eyes and an easy charming grin. A Cession drawl. 

Would anyone tell Raelle?

Would Raelle even care?

They hadn’t spoken. Hadn’t seen each other. The War began with the Camarilla, and everyone was thrown into the wind.

The army refused, still, to work with traitors and terrorists. At least outright. There were talks. Factions. But, no formal declaration. No formal allegiance or truce. Spree could and would be arrested on sight. Killed, if need be. Were still the enemy.

The Camarilla didn’t care what a witch was, only that she was a witch. Only that Work flowed through her veins and her mark glistened under the light.

The Spree fought for their kind’s survival. As they always had. As they always would.

The very second the news came through that the Camarilla were truly back, the Spree’s warnings gone unheeded far too long, Scylla was thrown into a tailspin that left her reeling with no time to wonder where Raelle was or find out how she was doing. Deal with Willa or Anacostia or anyone. Their hunters, their greatest enemy, were back. Organized and far stronger than ever before. 

And, Alder was not willing to acknowledge that all witches were in this fight together.

Not willing to recognize the Spree and military needed to fight side by side.

That this was always going to happen.

This was always going to be the ultimate outcome.

Scylla worked to live. Fought to live.

Fought for the one she cared about, loved, to live.

Discovered Anacostia’s plan. Did her best to feed her information that might trickle back, might help the army battle the Camarilla. 

Hoped in a hopeless world that Raelle was safe and ok.

Feared what might happen to her. If she was in War College. If she was happy. Content. If she still grinned like she did in the early morning glow. If she still twisted her hands together when she was nervous. 

If she knew about her mother.

If she knew Scylla had escaped.

If she even wanted to see Scylla ever again.

The one time the brunette tried to ask about Raelle, learn anything she could because Willa refused to tell her anything and Fort Salem was now more secure against intruders, Anacostia had only given her a look and told her Raelle was deployed.

_ Deployed _ .

One word that sent such a shock through Scylla’s system she was unable to hide it from the officer. Unable to school her features into anything other than shock and terror.

Raelle couldn’t be deployed.

Not now.

Not when there was danger and death.

She was meant to be in War College. Far away from the fighting.

Far away from everything.

Safe.

Raelle had to be safe.

Coughing again, Scylla groaned, the throbbing in her head getting worse. She squeezed her eyes shut, praying to whoever would listen that it would end quickly.

That she could be with her parents again.

She could finally see her parents.

She missed them.

Had they missed her?

Would they be disappointed in what she had done? Who she had become?

Did they still love her? 

Would they understand?

Would they hug her?

Her body began to relax, muscles wilting as the clock continued to click.

She was tired.

So very very tired.

That’s when she heard it.

A rustling.

Soft at first. Barely audible. 

Her mind was playing tricks on her.

For some reason, the thought made her mind return to Raelle gain. The way she laughed, eyes lit up and mouth twisted in such a mirthful way that Scylla could only lean in and kiss her. Raelle could make the dumbest jokes. But, she was funny. 

She made Scylla feel happy.

The noise got louder. The rustling turned to digging. 

Scylla frowned.

Was whatever hovered above her going to fall, too? End her misery?

Let her rest?

She slowly opened her eyes, ready to face whatever was coming.

She deserved it.

With everyone she had hurt, she deserved to die. To be alone. 

Yet, she felt a tiny flutter in her heart.

It would be so nice to rest. To close her eyes and let the currents take her to someplace soft and gentle. Where she could open her eyes and see her mom and dad standing there waiting for her. No more heartache or grief.

She let her eyes open fully. 

She had never taken the easy way out in her life.

And, that was the easy way out.

She had so much left to do.

Fight for.

Liberation. Freedom. 

Raelle.

She needed to see her one more time. One last time.

See her face. 

Feel her presence.

Hear her voice.

Breathe in everything about her.

A whine and snuffling joined the noises above her.

Scylla frowned harder.

What the hell?

Suddenly, a piece of rock flicked away and a beam of light shone through the tiny hole.

The yellowish beam slammed into her face, and Scylla winced at the sudden brightness in the shadows.

Another rock moved.

Then another.

Finally, something black appeared.

A snout.

Scylla could only stare at it.

What. The. Hell. Was. Happening?

After a moment, the wet black nose dipped away and a sharp bark echoed like a gunshot in the stifling stale air.

As quickly as the bark clapped like thunder, the nose was back, this time joined by two large brown eyes that seemed to whisper comfort to her. 

A dog.

She was looking at a dog.

* * *

The bible her dad kept in a box along with a few old tattered schoolbooks and a copy of the Farmer’s Almanac from the year Raelle was born used to talk about hell. A place of scorching fire and eternal damnation. Punishment and pain and an endless sea of bodies that were broken and shattered, left for all time to repent for sins that left them mangled and misbegotten. A wicked horrible doom that the wretched could never truly escape from.

Raelle didn’t believe in hell. Didn’t believe in much, to be honest.

But, in that moment, she felt she might have caught a glimpse of what the preacher at the small chapel a good hour’s drive away from her home in the Cession was spitting about.

Legs sore and lungs burning from the fiery ash filled molten air, the fixer slowly slid down to a creaky grime covered knee. Her deadened arm draped across her bent thigh, and her gloved hand dangled lifelessly, the beaten black leather cracked and nearly rubbed raw from endless days and nights of work. She peered out in exhaustion at her bleak surroundings.

It had been hours.

Hours.

And no sign of life.

Throat parched, she swallowed dryly, the action causing the burning in the back of her mouth to worsen and her cracked lips to ache like her head and eyes. She wiped at her blue orbs and took a deep shuddering breath that felt like a knife to her chest, jagged and agonizing. Bits of gravel and dust swept into her lungs, and she coughed harshly to spit out the smoke and rust. 

It was a disaster.

The call came just as she was slipping into her jacket to head over for a quick breakfast at the mess hall. It had been forever since she had been back at Fort Salem. The idea of sitting down at a table with a clean tray full of food and the indistinct hum of meaningless conversation floating around her felt like heaven. She even thought she might have met up with Abigail or Tally. 

It had been months since she’d seen them.

Since they’d talked face to face. Since she’d seen Tally’s welcoming friendly grin. Felt Abigail thump her arm and exchange an eye-rolling smirk at some outlandish story a nearby table could be heard telling. Since she could hear their voices, feel their presence, her old unit, her sisters, her family, a sense of comfort and stability in an ever changing world. 

A sense of home in the darkness.

Not quite a lighthouse...that had once been someone else...been a safe place to stop on her journey.

She looked forward to watching Tally sip her tea and happily munch on apple slices while Abigail pulled a face and regally enjoyed her coffee.

She wanted to let her mind rest, if even for half an hour.

Instead, the orders came quickly.

Explosion in a nearby town.

The civilian emergency services on site needed help, and they needed it fast.

Unclear if it was Spree, the Camarilla, or something else, but the entire block blew up and there were people inside those buildings.

People who most likely didn’t survive the blast.

Or its aftermath.

Raelle sniffed and wiped haphazardly at her face, dirt caked on her features and only getting smudged by the cracks of her knuckles. 

The buildings had all but been obliterated. A sea of jagged smokey slabs of concrete glowed hot and desolate in the haze, dust and debris so thick it almost blocked out the sun entirely. Gave an eerie nearly ethereal glow that served as more of a warning than a welcome to those who dared venture across the rolling roaring mess of destruction. Blood mixed with leaking water, and the smell of the fires clawed at her nose and belly. There were bodies. Lifeless. Glassy eyes staring up at nothing. Covered in soot or blood or both. The red was still sticky and warm as it clung to their motionless hands and faces. 

It looked like a warzone.

And, she’d seen warzones.

_ The metallic taste was bitter on her tongue, harsh and horrible, as she ducked around the burnt out remnants of a once proud structure, a home that provided warmth and comfort and a sense of belonging to the witch family that once lived there. _

_ The witch family who got caught up in the battle between the army and the Camarilla. _

_ She carefully walked across the rubble, eyes desperate for a sign of life. A flicker of a finger. A faint call for help. A piece of fabric or flash of skin.  _

_ Something. _

_ Anything. _

_ Breathing softly, evenly, she focused all of her senses on the ground below her, the air around her. _

_ That’s when she felt a tug at her hand.  _

_ Ailani found something. _

This was not a rescue mission.

It was a recovery mission.

A wet nuzzle against her hand drew Raelle out of her thoughts. She peeked down to see Ailani staring up at her. 

Coat still beautiful though it was covered in filth, the noble yellow labrador retriever met Raelle’s gaze with curious patient brown eyes that always seemed to speak in a language Raelle had slowly learned over time, since the moment they met each other.

Since the moment Raelle volunteered for the Search and Rescue unit.

_ The sun glared down on the grounds of Fort Salem. Hot and unrelenting. _

_ Raelle’s skin itched and her feet felt like walking for miles as she stumbled along the well worn pavement leading toward the barracks. _

_ Her bag hung listless on her shoulder, empty notebooks and unread books inside.  _

_ War College. _

_ The fixer snorted and hung a right, walking toward the practice fields instead of where she was supposed to grab the book she’d forgotten for her next class. _

_ Didn’t matter. She wasn’t going. _

_ Fingers flexing at her sides, curling up into tiny fists before extending as far as they could go, bones cracking painfully at the back and forth, Raelle marched on, head down and teeth gnashed together.  _

_ Her body felt tired all the time, yet she couldn’t stop moving. If she sat down, it felt wrong. She couldn’t stay still. _

_ Couldn’t stay. _

_ Couldn’t. _

_ She just...couldn’t. _

_ Ever since China. Since finding the Tarim. Since the attack by the Camarilla. _

_ Since dying. _

_ Since living. _

_ Since almost bringing Abigail with her to the other side, the afterlife. _

_ Since getting picked up on that Navy ship and getting dumped back at Fort Salem. _

_ Since being admitted to War College. _

_ No. _

_ Since long before that. _

_ Since she set foot on this god forsaken land. The witches’ place. _

_ Since she met Scylla Ramshorn and fell in love with someone who didn’t love her back. _

_ No, that wasn’t right. _

_ Was it? _

_ Raelle shook her head and picked up her pace. _

_ Maybe, if she walked fast enough, her muddled mind could clear up. _

_ Maybe she could walk all the way back to the Cession. _

_ Back to a time and place where her mama was about to come home from deployment and her dad was excitedly helping Raelle prepare. Back before lovers and enlistments and death. _

_ Before. _

_ Mind far away, Raelle tripped and nearly stumbled into the brick wall of the building she was passing by. Sucking in a lungful of air, she tumbled toward the hard merciless barrier. Her hands landed on the scratchy surface, and the edges rubbed at her stinging palms.  _

_ Body shaking, she slowly leant her forehead against the brick. _

_ She shouldn’t be there. _

_ She didn’t know where she was supposed to be. _

_ What she was supposed to do. _

_ Abigail was fine. Excelling in class. Tally, too, no longer a biddy.  _

_ Raelle wasn’t. _

_ She was never meant for War College. _

_ Never meant to be anything but war meat sent to the front lines. _

_ Yet, she couldn’t do that, either. _

_ She volunteered for missions. _

_ Anything. _

_ It wasn’t right. Didn’t feel right in her bones. In her gut.  _

_ The sounds of battle. The anger that rippled around her. The fear. The dread. The need to fight. To kill or be killed. _

_ Feeling her own hands take a life. _

_ She shouldn’t be taking lives when she wasn’t even meant to be alive in the first place. _

_ She should be dead. _

_ Nowhere felt right. _

_ Not the barracks. Not the front lines. Not the classrooms.  _

_ Nothing and nowhere. _

_ She didn’t fit. _

_ Raelle carefully turned and leaned her back against the wall. Her mouth trembled, and she closed her eyes.  _

_ Images of yellow flashed on the backs of her eyelids. Yellow sand. Yellow dirt. Yellow mountains. Yellow sky. _

_ Red blood. _

_ She squeezed her eyes shut tighter until she saw stars. _

_ She never fit anywhere. _

_ Not when she was a kid in the Cession, half-witch and half-civilian. _

_ Not in basic. Performing Work the wrong way and getting in trouble while lost in hypnotizing blue eyes that had her falling in love with a lie. A backwoods country nothing among High Atlantic prestige. _

_ Not in War College.  _

_ Not in battle. _

_ She didn’t fit. _

_ The only time she ever fit was when she was talking to her friends, Scylla’s hand in her own.  _

_ Even that wasn’t real. Wasn’t right. _

_ Inhaling deeply, Raelle tipped her head back against the wall. _

_ She needed a moment. _

_ One moment. _

_ Then, she’d trudge to class. Take her seat. Pretend she was paying attention.  _

_ Keep going until the next time she was called up for deployment.  _

_ A sharp bark cut into her thoughts, and Raelle blinked. _

_ A bark? _

_ She heard it again. Sharp and loud. _

_ Pushing away from the wall, Raelle looked around.  _

_ Why in the hell did she hear barking? At Fort Salem. _

_ There weren’t any dogs there. _

_ Never had been. _

_ Stealing herself, she crept toward the corner of the building and cautiously glanced around the edge. _

_ She blinked. _

_ Blinked again. _

_ Squinted. _

_ No matter what she did, the vision didn’t change. _

_ It wasn’t a hallucination brought on by lack of sleep or stress. _

_ Or, if it was, it sure was a strong one. _

_ Either way, she stared at the sight before her. _

_ There, in a little area, no bigger than two of the small trucks driving around and surrounded by short aluminum fencing, were a bunch of dogs.  _

_ Dogs. _

_ There were dogs at Fort Salem. _

_ Her feet were moving before she noticed. _

_ Within seconds she was at the fence, sticking a hand over the top to gently touch the yellowish coat of a dog with curious hesitantly friendly eyes. _

_ She didn’t know why, but she wanted to know this pup. _

_ Stared into its eyes and felt something in her chest. _

_ Not something hard or sharp or painful. _

_ Something...ok.  _

_ Fingers reaching out, she waited. _

_ Waited for the pup to come to her. _

_ It eyed her, watched her, studied her.  _

_ Coat a bit shaggy and ears alert, it backed up a step, whining deep in its throat.  _

_ Raelle waited. _

_ Patient. _

_ The dog gave itself a hard shake, body moving quickly, gracefully.  _

_ Then, with a huff, it slowly stepped towards her. _

_ The dog cautiously pawed forward until it bumped its nose against the tips of Raelle’s fingers. _

_ “Hi.” Raelle whispered with a small smile. _

_ The dog’s eyes seemed to light up. _

_ “What do you think you’re doing?” _

_ Raelle’s back stiffened at the firm shout. Spinning around, she came face to face with a stern faced officer. _

_ “Well?” the officer stared at her. _

_ “Why are there dogs here?” Raelle tossed back. _

_ The officer’s eyebrow quirked. _

_ Raelle didn’t back down. _

_ She wanted to know. _

_ Needed to know. _

_ Scoffing to herself, the officer looked her up and down before settling back on the balls of her feet, “War College?” _

_ “Yes, ma’am.” _

_ “Specialty?” _

_ “Fixer.” _

_ The woman nodded, “Don’t you have class?” _

_ Raelle shrugged. _

_ Yes, she did. _

_ Not that it meant anything. _

_ The witch shook her head and lifted her chin, “Get to class, soldier.” _

_ Raelle should listen to her. _

_ She didn’t. _

_ “Why are there dogs? I haven’t seen dogs anywhere around here before.” _

_ Narrowing her eyes to study the blonde, the woman took a minute before responding, “What’s your name?” _

_ “Collar.” _

_ “Collar,” she chewed on this for a moment, “you like dogs?” _

_ “Never had one.” Her family couldn’t afford one growing up, and, when she finally got to a point she could get her own, she was about to be shipped off to Fort Salem. No chance of keeping one with her on base.  _

_ No chance, if she left the pup at home, she’d ever see it again. _

_ Letting out a breath, the officer’s shoulders dipped, “Fixer, you said?” _

_ “Yes, ma’am.” _

_ “You seen combat, yet?” _

_ Raelle stared at her silently. _

_ She’d seen enough combat to last her a lifetime. Even longer. _

_ She could sometimes still feel the blood on her hands. Unsure if it was others’ or her own. Friend or foe. _

_ “The dogs are new.” The officer finally explained. She glanced around before relaxing her posture, “We’re creating a new unit. Search and Rescue. See how it works out.” _

_ Search and Rescue. _

_ “The dogs will work with a handler. Be deployed to disasters. Battlefields. Wherever there may be people lost that we can help find. We find them, dead or alive. Hopefully alive. Get them back home.” _

_ Raelle wet her lips, and glanced off to the side.  _

_ Search and Rescue. _

_ New Unit. _

_ People lost that we can help find. _

_ Get them back home. _

_ “You looking for volunteers?” _

Opening her hand, Raelle coaxed the dog closer. Ailani eased against her leg, body warm and solid. Her head came down to rest on Raelle’s thigh, and she pressed her paw, covered by a tiny black leather boot, firmly but carefully against Raelle’s boot. Brown eyes stared up at Raelle, and she let out a huge sigh, nose nuzzling affectionately as those eyes seemed to offer the fixer a friendly camaraderie in the midst of the unending chaos. An anchor in the turmoil.

“You’re doin’ good, Ailani.” Raelle muttered fondly. She stroked the dog’s head and scratched lightly behind her ears, earning a tail thump and those eyes never leaving hers. ”I’m alright.”

She kept scratching, taking solace in the normalcy. In the sturdiness of her partner. 

The dog whined in the back of her throat and nudged at Raelle’s hip where a bottle of water was hooked to her belt.

Still petting Ailani’s head, Raelle unconsciously unhooked the bottle and unscrewed the cap. She took a hearty swallow, the warm liquid rolling down her throat like the first rain cascading through an empty riverbed after the dry season.

She brought the bottle away from her lips and thrust her hand into the bag looped to her side. In a moment, she grasped the small rubber circle and brought it out. With a snap of her wrist, the tiny round item turned into a bowl, and she dumped half her water into it. Holding it out, Ailani eagerly lapped up the water, splashing some on Raelle and the ground around them until the bowl was empty.

Both of them felt the fire and crackling air in their mouths and bellies, the acidic acrid air burning and blistering.

Recapping the bottle, she blindly put it back on her hip, put the bowl back in her bag, and let her hand lay still on Ailani’s back.

She paused.

Took a breath.

Her entire body ached.

But not as bad as her head and heart did in that moment.

Not as bad as the awful churning of her stomach.

Whatever happened there was bad. Unspeakably bad. 

A poke in her mind caught Raelle’s attention. She cocked her head to the side as a presence entered her brain and a voice spoke easily in her head, “Collar? You clear that area?”

Her commanding officer. Maj. Reynolds. A tall dark woman with cutting black eyes and a stern facade that melted away to reveal a strong caring thoughtful leader when times were tough and she was with her soldiers.

Raelle slowly clambered back to her feet, leash secure in her gloved hand, the black leather sinking into the worn in jut of her palm, “No, ma’am. Almost. Thirty minutes at most.”

“Find anyone?” The voice was even. Neutral. But, Raelle could sense the slight desperation and frustration trickled in. The same that filled her. The growing horror that they wouldn’t find anyone.

Raelle swallowed hard, “No.”

There was a pause. Then, “Thirty minutes. Then, get back here. Don’t push yourself, kid.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Collar.”

Raelle rubbed her ear, “Yes?”

“I mean it.”

“Copy that.”

The slight pressure dissipated as Reynolds retreated from her mind, the connection severed. 

Raelle stretched her back, feeling the joints pop and spine scream.

It had been a long day.

No one was found alive.

Raelle wrapped the leash a bit tighter around her hand.

She had yet to go on a mission where she didn’t find one soul alive and saveable. 

Her unit saved people.

Her and Ailani saved people.

There had to be someone. Anyone.

One person.

Just one person, at least.

In all this wreckage. Destruction. Desolation.

Hopelessness.

She should have known the moment she arrived, crammed in the transport truck with the others in her unti. Scrambled off to be met with a nightmarish horror that scorched her soul and burned into her brain. Known in the way the civilian emergency workers approached them, faces long and full of sickly dread.

“Come on, Ailani. Let’s go. Find.” Raelle nudged the dog to move.

Ailani gave her one last look and soft nip to her fingertips. Then, she carefully began to move, the red of her harness vest a stark contrast to the black and smoldering around them, only matched in vibrancy by the splatters of blood that painted random crevices and cracks. The dog’s ears were up and alert, nose to the ground, eyes scanning. Searching.

They walked carefully across the unsteady chunks of hollowed out concrete and rebar. 

The entire block was gone. 

Everything was gone.

They had been searching all day. Hours and hours. Nonstop. 

She’d stumbled upon five dead bodies within the first fifteen minutes of her search.

It had only gotten worse.

The air was a gut-wrenching choking flame and the ground trembled and shifted as she walked. Ailani sniffed. Alert. 

As desperate as her partner to find something.

A hand.

A finger.

A sign of life. 

The sun would set soon. They couldn’t do much once the sun was gone.

Couldn’t do much if they didn’t find anyone now. 

The moment they lost daylight...they lost hope.

She pulled the handkerchief tied around her neck up to cover her nose and mouth. The grit stuck to her teeth and coated the inside of her mouth. Tasted like death and decay.

The entire world in that moment was death and decay. 

Her mind clicked back as she picked her way through the rubble.

The rumor passed around on the ride down was that this was a Spree hideout. Either the Spree did it to themselves or the Camarilla found them. 

The Spree.

Raelle’s chest hurt, and she unconsciously rubbed at her heart, crunching the fabric of her jacket beneath her palm.

Scylla was Spree.

Or, she had been.

Raelle hadn’t seen her since the basement. Since Scylla told her  _ everything _ was real. Since Raelle learned  _ it _ was true. That Scylla lied to her. 

Since she walked away.

The Spree were still criminals. Terrorists. Alder refused to join them against the Camarilla. It was an open secret some divisions worked with different cells, but it was hush hush and not formally approved or sanctioned. 

Spree were to be arrested on sight. Killed, if need be. Considered dangerous. 

A tug at her hand and a sharp bark followed by a soft whine had Raelle stopping. She watched Ailani paw at a patch of crumbled concrete and wires. The dog stuck her head between two dusty slabs and batted at them.

She found something.

A spark of relief clawed at Raelle, but she pushed it away.

She didn’t know what or who was there.

If it was another dead body.

Or someone unable to be saved.

She needed to focus.

Rushing to the dog’s side, Raelle roughly grabbed at one slab, the edges pressing into the worn out creases of her gloves hard enough for her to feel the bite.

Goddess, it was heavy.

Straining her arms, shoulders and tendons crying out, she locked her jaw and pulled as hard as she could. 

It moved barely an inch.

Closing her eyes, Raelle set her feet and used every ounce of force she had left in her tired torn up frame. Her teeth clashed together, and she groaned as the fire moved from her lungs to her back and arms.

Slowly, the slab moved.

Inch.

By.

Inch.

With one last heave, Raelle threw her entire body to the side.

The slab dropped to the ground next to the opening, and Raelle reached for the flashlight in the pouch strapped to her side while she looked down into what seemed to be a hole, “Hello! Is anyone down there?”

Nothing.

“Hello?” She clicked on the light and held it up near her face to shine down from her eye-line, “My name is Lt. Collar. Search and Rescue. If you can hear me, make a sound.”

Nothing.

“This is Lt. Collar with the United States Army Search and Rescue. Is anyone down there?”

Nothing.

Then.

A faint cough.

A cough.

Faint, but audible.

Real.

Someone was down there.

“I hear you. Stay still. Everything will be ok.” Raelle kept her voice loud and even. Steady. She inched closer to the edge and tried to get a good look.

She would need to get down there.

Light bouncing around the interior from her flashlight, she saw it was a small hole. The building had collapsed around whoever was down there, trapping them inside. There were exposed wires and shattered glass. A few pieces of rebar were twisted and concrete everywhere.

It was a miracle the person was alive.

And, she had no idea what shape they were in.

How badly they were injured.

If they could be moved...fixed...helped.

No matter what, she was going to try.

“I’m going to come down. Stay still. Do not move.” Raelle hoped the structure didn’t give out.

Nothing had been sturdy that day.

She’d already seen one column of stone collapse in on itself and sink into the earth.

Leaning back, she hooked the flashlight to her jacket and unlooped the strap of her pack wound around her shoulder and across her body.

She was just small enough to fit through the hole she created. 

Before she could do anything, a roar exploded to her left.

Ducking, Raelle grabbed for her dog and pulled her to her side.

The pup huddled against her, paws rustling as she crawled on top of Raelle.

Tried to protect her from whatever was happening. 

A flash of light sparked in the corner of Raelle’s eye.

The ground shook viciously.

Turning her head, Ailani on top of her back, she saw a burst of flames ignite half a block away, sending the unit over there scrambling back with sharp shouts and rapid hand gestures. 

Shit.

The area was getting even more unstable.

She needed to move. Quickly.

The rubble wasn’t sturdy enough for her to use a rope to get up or down.

She would need to crawl.

Patting the dog, she waited for Ailani to slide off of her before pushing up to her knees.

She could almost feel the watch on her wrist ticking the seconds away.

Spinning to face Ailani, who was nudging towards the opening, Raelle caught her eye with a quick flick of her wrist, “Slow. Steady.” She unhooked the leash and vest harness, setting it aside. She tenderly rubbed the dog’s face and wet her own lips. 

She gazed into the dog’s eyes, “Find it.”

With a flick of her tail, Ailani was diving through the hole, hellbent on finding whoever was down there.

“Ok,” Raelle took a breath and patted her body, making sure she had what she needed securely strapped on. Nodding to herself, she lowered her legs through the hole, “Let’s go.”

Slowly, cautiously, methodically, she crawled down. 

“Stay still. Let me come to you.” Raelle called out. “My name is Lt. Collar. US Army Search and Rescue. I am a medic. I am going to help you. My dog Ailani will find you. She will not harm you.”

Her feet hit the ground, and she grabbed her flashlight to shine it around.

It was dark. Dank. Water dripped everywhere, and it smelled moldy and wrecked. Dust particles danced in the beam of her light, and she could feel the dirt filling her lungs with each breath no matter how high up she pulled her face cover. It was like mud, heavy and immoveable. Weighed down her breaths and made her head fuzzy if she let it.

The hole was small but large enough for her and Ailani to fit. 

Ailani, who gave a crisp bark and appeared in front of Raelle, fur wet and sticky. She pawed at Raelle’s leg eagerly.

She must have spotted whoever else was down there.

“Show me.” Raelle ordered quietly.

The dog turned around and stepped back to the darkness in an instant. 

Raelle followed her with the light, illuminating her back as the pup cautiously padded over cut up rock and stone.

Raelle hoped her boots protected her paws from the sharp edges. 

After a few moments that felt like hours, Ailani stopped. She lowered herself to her belly and gave another whine.

The light hit the person stuck under a pile of rock.

Found.

They found someone. 

Raelle opened her mouth to call out.

The light shifted as her wrist turned.

Raelle froze.

Whatever she was about to say died on the tip of her tongue.

She felt the world shift around her.

Felt everything turn upside down.

She was going to be sick.

Her hair was white from dust, but the fixer could still see the dark silky strands she used to run her fingers through. The face was pale but she could recall how soft it felt under her hand. Half lidded unfocused eyes were still as blue as the day they met.

“Scylla.” Raelle gulped, bile churning in her belly. 

Scylla.

Scylla was there.

Scylla was hurt.

_ Scylla was hurt. _

Clambering forward, Raelle quickly dropped to her knees at the other witch’s side, “Scylla? Scyl? Hey. Can you hear me?”

She could smell the blood. See it painting her face. Trickling down her temple from a gash, causing her hair to stick to her head. 

Scylla was there.

Scylla was injured.

Raelle felt her heart stop.

Scylla could be dying.

The dog looked over at the necro and eased onto her front paws. Her nose lightly touched Scylla’s cheek.

Raelle inhaled deeply and held it for one second...two...three...then let it out slowly.

She had to focus.

Do as she was trained.

Forget that this was her former lover.

Because, she couldn’t save her if she let herself think otherwise.

Couldn’t think past the emotions welling up inside.

Emotions she tamped down, banished.

Because, she was the only one there.

The only one who could help Scylla.

“Scylla, if you can hear me, blink twice.” 

Scylla stared up at her.

Nothing.

Then.

Two blinks.

Forcing herself to remain calm, Raelle willed her hands to not shake as she touched Scylla’s neck, “Scylla, I am going to see how you’re doing, ok? I am going to link with you, but not fully. I need to know your condition.”

Scylla’s dazed dark blues just looked at her.

Raelle took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

The verses mumbled under her breath as she linked, not enough to connect with Scylla’s mind but enough to feel what was wrong.

She almost wished she hadn’t.

There was a lot.

Head injury. Concussion. Internal bleeding.

Scylla needed help.

Fast.

She was dying.

_ Scylla was dying. _

Releasing her hold, Raelle let her hands rest against the crook of the brunette’s neck. She tenderly brushed her thumbs against her skin, “Scylla, I am going to get you out of here. Ok?”

Shit.

She needed to report in. Tell her superior she’d found someone. Get Scylla out of there. Get her stable and in a transport to the nearest hospital. 

That’s when it hit her.

Her blood turned cold.

Scylla was there.

Ice dripped in her veins and curled in her soul.

Scylla was Spree.

Known Spree.

Spree were to be arrested on sight.

If she told her superior that Scylla was there, they would discover she was supposed to be in a prison in the Caribbean. 

Scylla would be arrested.

A mangled mournful groan caught the fixer’s attention.

Raelle watched as Scylla blinked lethargically. Her voice slurred, uneven and raspy, “Raelle?” 

“Yeah.” Raelle bit her quivering lip, “Hey, Scyl.”

Scylla’s brow crinkled in confusion, “Wha’...’re you…”

“Shhh.” Raelle reached to her side and unhooked the water bottle strapped opposite her pouch, “Don’t talk. You’ve been hurt. I’m going to help you.” She undid the lid and leaned over, cupping the back of Scylla’s head and lifting the bottle to her lips, “Small sips.”

Water trickled into her mouth, most streaming down her chin. 

Raelle returned the bottle to her side after a few sips and carefully began to brush the rocks and rubble off of Scylla, “Ailani and I are going to get you better. Fix you up. I need you to stay awake. Do not go to sleep.”

“Raelle,” a finger brushed lazily against the blonde’s wrist, “dangerous.”

“It’s ok. You’ll be ok.”

Scylla whimpered, “No.”

“Scylla.”

“C-Cam..arilla.” 

Raelle blinked.

It was a Camailla attack.

Shit.

“It’s ok.” She reassured, “They’re gone. It’s just us. Me. Ailani and me.”

Scylla frowned. 

That’s when Ailani nuzzled her. 

The brunette turned her head and blinked at the pup.

“Scylla, this is Ailani. My partner. Ailani, this is Scylla.” Her voice dropped, “My girlfriend.” Without looking at Scylla’s eyes, she cleared her throat, “You are injured, but it’s fixable. I’m going to get you stabilized and to an infirmary.” 

A light pressure poked at Raelle’s mind.

Oh no.

“Collar.” her commanding officer’s voice echoed in her mind, “It’s been over thirty minutes. Report?”

Raelle closed her eyes.

“Collar?”

Opening her eyes, Raelle stared into Scylla’s. She touched her temple and replied evenly, “Nothing to report. On my way back.”

“Ok.” there was a bittersweet tone, “Good work, Collar.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“See you soon.”

“Copy.” Raelle blinked as the pressure disappeared.

Scylla’s head lolled further to the side, “Rae?”

“Woah, hey.” Raelle caught her head. She shrugged out of her jacket and folded it quickly before shoving it under Scylla’s head, pillowing it. “Stay awake.” She quickly flashed the beam from her flashlight in Scylla’s eyes.

Concussion.

“‘M sorry.” Scylla murmured, eyelashes flickering.

“No,” Raelle shook her head. “Listen. You are going to be fine.” She lowered herself to be eye to eye with the older girl, “Look at me. You are going to be fine. I am going to get you out of here. I promise.”

Rising to her knees again, Raelle absently patted Ailani, “Stay with her.”

The dog lowered onto her belly and crawled forward. Resting her head on her paws, she nudged Scylla’s shoulder with her nose. Scylla slowly let her fingertips slip up and touch the dog’s fur. The dog’s tail thumped happily, and she crawled closer, pressing her warm body to Scylla’s chilled side. 

Raelle rubbed her hands together before pressing them back to Scylla’s throat, “Ok. I’m going to stabilise you. I’m not going to completely fix you but get you good enough to move. Ok?”

Scylla nodded, “Trust you.”

_ Trust you. _

Raelle closed her eyes and began to chant.

The blood flowing down Scylla’s face began to slow. Her internal injuries began to carefully stitch back up.

Raelle could feel the energy draining from her.

After a few moments, she needed to stop.

She kept going.

Just a little more.

She could take a little more.

Give a little more.

Body shivering, cold seeping into her veins, the burn igniting like an icy flame, Raelle pressed her lips together.

A little bit more.

She could help Scylla a little bit more.

Her head began to feel woozy.

The memory came quick.

_ The leaves were still, silent sentinels shading the couple from prying eyes and gossiping mouths. _

_ Scylla nipped tenderly at the curve of her girlfriend’s jaw, hands tangling with the blonde’s against a firm belly as the girl leaned further back against the brunette, a tiny giggle erupting as Scylla nuzzled the spot behind her ear.  _

_ Back pressed against the trunk of the large majestic tree, legs cradling the fixer who seemed to be in every thought she ever had now, Scylla let her eyes close and buried her face into the crook of Raelle’s neck. _

_ Words that never entered her mind before tickled the corners of her thoughts. Clawed at her until all she could do was keep her eyes shut and pretend. _

_ Pretend like she could have this. _

_ Pretend like they were just two women who found each other one day. _

_ Pretend they could be together. _

_ That she could be in love. _

_ Raelle squeezed her hands, “You ok?” _

_ Scylla nodded, touching her mouth to the side of her neck in a kiss that she held long enough to memorize the feel of her heartbeat and cause calloused fingertips to slide back and scratch at her head. _

_ The pressure of that heartbeat against her lips weighed like a mountain on her mind, in her own heart. _

_ “Scylla?” _

_ “I’m ok.” she assured her. _

_ Raelle shifted, turning slightly so she could look at her. _

_ Scylla bravely met her gaze, smile only dropping for a millisecond. _

_ Raelle cupped her cheek, thumb tracing her skin, before kissing her so gently Scylla felt her heart stop. _

A sharp sudden jab at her arm had her quickly retracting her hold.

“Stop.” Scylla’s eyes were red but more focused. 

More alive.

More broken.

Drawing back, Raelle sucked in mouthfuls of air.

She couldn’t think about the memory.

Not now.

She was exhausted.

She felt like passing out.

She still needed to get Scylla to safety.

And, her CO was expecting her back already.

Without a rescue.

Shit.

Think. She needed to think.

She ignored Scylla’s gaze. Couldn’t look at her.

Couldn’t get lost in those scrutinizing secretive blues.

Blues that always seemed to outsmart her.

That made her heart beat loudly and mind drift away.

Eyes that knew this wasn’t right.

That Raelle should be arresting her.

An idea popped in her head.

An idea that could save Scylla.

An idea that could get her court martialed.

Reaching into the pouch, she plucked out the radio the civilian handed to her after they arrived on site. 

She was to use it to call them in if there was something they could do. They wanted to help. Were ready to help. This was just...too much for their capabilities. If the soldiers could find the people, they could get them to a hospital. 

Gripping the radio tightly, Raelle pressed the button, “This is Lt. Collar. Over.”

“Copy that, Lt. Collar. This is Baker.”

“Witch found. Injured. Need assistance in moving.” Raelle tightened her grasp, “One of ours. Discretion. Intelligence officer. Cannot be identified.”

No response.

“Do you copy, Baker?”

“Copy that, Lt.”

Raelle exhaled, “Good.” She carefully explained where they were.

“Understood, Lt. On our way.”

Raelle shoved the radio back in her pouch, “Scylla. They will be here in five minutes. I need you to stay still. Stay awake. When they take you, do not identify yourself. To anyone. You are Intelligence. That is all they need to know.”

“Raelle,”

“Do you understand?”

Scylla nodded, wincing as she did so.

“Ok.” Raelle rocked onto her feet, still crouched down, “I am going to meet them up top. I will find you at the hospital and get you to safety. Don’t talk to anyone unless you know they’re one of yours.”

One of yours.

Spree.

Raelle peeked down at the pup nestled against Scylla, the brunette’s hand tucked in her fur. She gulped, “Ailani will stay with you until they come.” She unhooked her water bottle and pressed it near Scylla’s side, “Drink as much as you need.”

“Raelle,”

“It’s ok.” Raelle leaned back on her haunches “It’ll be ok, Scyl.”

Scylla blinked up at her. She caught Raelle’s eye.

The blonde felt time stop. 

In that moment, it was just them.

Scylla and Raelle.

Two lovers who hadn’t seen each other in so long.

Too long.

She slowly let her hands drift to Scylla’s shoulder, and her touch unconsciously sought out the bare skin revealed from the ripped collar of Scylla’s shirt. Raelle tenderly began to stroke a tiny patch of skin with the pad of her thumb, the small movement helping to calm them both.

Scylla wet her lips, “Who knew wind could cut through rock?”

Raelle’s eyes widened at the familiar sentence.

Scylla tried to smirk, the action watery and wobbling, “Can’t...Can’t keep your hands off me, huh?”

Raelle blinked, throat bobbing, “Heard there was something beautiful around here. Had to see for myself.” She took a breath, giving in to the moment. The only moment she might ever have with the love of her life ever again, “Hey, Scylla.”

“H-Hi, Raelle.”

“You look good.”

Scylla chuckled, grimacing as it caused her body to ache.

“Shh, hey. Relax.” Raelle soothed. Her thumb trickled up to caress a dirt smudged cheek, “You’re going to be out of here soon.”

Scylla’s lashes fluttered, “You have a dog.”

“Yeah. Ailani.”

“Ailani.”

The dog perked up, ears proudly at attention as she heard her name.

Raelle peeked down her side at the pup. Ailani laid there patiently, drooping down to nose at Scylla’s wrist.

“Dogs are nice.” Scylla felt sleepiness creeping in.

“Sure are.” Raelle pressed her thumb into Scylla’s skin, “Stay awake, Scyl. I need you to be awake right now.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to look into those pretty eyes of yours.”

Scylla snorted, “That’s...the best you got?”

“I’d tell you about getting you on your back underneath me, but we’re already there.”

“You,” Scylla gulped, “you hate me. Why're you here?”

“I don’t hate you, Scylla.” Raelle murmured. Keeping one hand cupping Scylla’s face, the other reached to the water bottle tucked at the necro’s side, “You know I could never hate you.”

Scylla nodded.

She knew.

Somehow, she knew.

Raelle could never hate her, just like she could never hate Raelle.

No matter what.

“You should.” Scylla garbled.

Raelle pulled up the bottle of water, “No, Scyl, I shouldn’t.” She uncapped it and tenderly slipped her hand underneath Scylla’s head, helping her lift up and bringing the bottle to her lips, “I can’t.”

Scylla took a tiny sip. The water was cool. Refreshing.

Raelle watched her, “You hurt me. I...it doesn't change things. Not like that.”

As water began to dribble down Scylla’s chin, Raelle slowly pulled the bottle away and recapped it, easing Scylla’s head back down.

The fixer quickly shoved the now empty bottle onto its hook at her side and swayed back, eyeing the rubble pinning one of the brunette’s arms down. “I’m going to move, that, ok? It’ll hurt like hell, but I’ll fix you up. Real quick.”

“You like quick.” Scylla joked, gasping as a jab of pain cut into her chest.

“Shh...relax.” Raelle latched her hands around the rock, “Besides, we both know you ain’t one for teasin’ unless you’re doin’ it.” 

Before Scylla could reply about how Raelle liked to be teased, the weight on her arm disappeared.

And fire burned under her skin.

An agonized cry choked her, and tears streamed down her face.

It felt like every ligament was burning into ash, every muscle and bone transforming into pure pain.

Hands instantly went to her arm, and a comforting cold mingled with hushed words.

Bible verses.

Her heart beat began to slow. A rhythmic beating took over, a pulsating tap that was like a gentle rocking, like laying in the middle of the ocean and letting the tide lap gently at her skin as the delicate rays of the sun warmed her body. Like being held by her mother and swayed along as she hummed under her breath, Scylla’s face cocooned in her arms and protected from the rest of the world.

A memory poked and prodded at her mind, but, before it could manifest, play out, the hands disappeared.

It took only a moment, but...the pain was gone.

And, she was back to the shattered remains of a building and her relationship.

Raelle’s hands stayed away from Scylla, wiping at her ruddy cheeks and averted eyes, but her voice croaked as she asked, “Can you move your hand?” 

Scylla’s chin quivered at the rasp in her former lover’s voice. At the redness darkening hushed blue. What could she say? What could she do?

A snout poked at her palm.

Scylla automatically tried to move her hand.

Her fingers curled into soft fur.

Ailani

“Good. Good, baby.” Raelle rocked on her heels before turning back to face her, the term of endearment slipping out automatically, unnoticed by the blonde who was regaining her composure but the word grabbing at Scylla’s chest. Her vision flickered and her mouth grew unsteady as she, once again, took in Scylla’s prone form.

Scylla buried her hand in the soft fur, meeting Raelle’s eyes.

“That bad?”

“Seen worse.” there was something haunted in her gaze.

Something Scylla wanted to know about.

But, she couldn’t ask.

Not when Raelle’s eyes glazed over.

The necro watched as Raelle’s head twitched, then canted to the side. Her eyes shifted, mouth narrowing.

She was listening.

Her hand automatically went to her temple, tips of her index and middle finger pressing in, “I understand, ma’am.” Her eyes darted to Scylla, “On my way. Ailani and I got held up. Unstable terrain. Copy.”

Before Scylla could speak, the radio crackled at Raelle’s hip, and shadows hovered above them, “Lt. Collar?”

Raelle swallowed thickly and straightened her shoulders. “Remember. Don’t talk to anyone.” Then, she was crawling backwards, a quick, “Ailani, come.” echoing behind her.

No goodbye.

Raelle refused to look back, couldn’t look back, as she picked and parsed her way through the rubble and toward the light. Her dog followed close behind, presence a balm.

They reached the top quickly, and Raelle popped her head up to see three civilians and a stretcher standing impatiently, eagerly. One of them, a tall redheaded man with freckles and bright ernest green eyes, held out a hand to her, “Lt. Collar?”

Raelle took his hand and allowed him to help pull her out. She let go of his hand and turned around to pull Ailani to the surface, “Yeah.”

“I’m Baker. You found someone?” he peered over the edge.

“Yes. One. Severe injuries. I stabilized her, but you need to be cautious.”

“Right.” he nodded.

Casting one last look at the hole, Raelle picked up the vest harness and helped Ailani into it, “You’re losing daylight.”

“She’s right.” Baker pointed at the other two, “Let’s move.”

Raelle let their actions turn into background noise as she hooked the leash to her dog and looped her pack over her shoulder. 

She kept her eyes forward as she marched back to the meeting point.

Scylla was safe.

Scylla would be ok.

Scylla was getting help.

For now.

As the sounds of her unit began to reach her ears, Ailani’s tail wagging, Raelle’s mind tossed and turned.

She needed to get word to the Spree.

Needed to get Scylla out of there without the army knowing.

Without anyone knowing.

Scylla would be arrested. Sent away to prison. If not killed.

Raelle herself...if it came out she helped a known Spree agent…

She’d either be punished, a slap on the wrist for doing her job and helping someone who was part of an organization some parts of the military worked with.

Or she’d be seen as a traitor. A rogue soldier who lied to her CO, assisted a known terrorist, and needed to be made an example of after being given chance after chance with countless demerits she’d racked up starting her first day in basic.

She had a feeling a court martial and prison sentence would be her future.

She’d be sent to the Caribbean like Scylla was meant to be.

A death sentence, just like her rejection to War College and deployment had been on graduation day from basic.

But, even knowing this...she couldn’t let them find out about Scylla.

She couldn’t turn Scylla in.

Not when she still loved her.

Would always love her.

Blinking, she spotted her CO standing in front of the ragged worn down soldiers milling about.

CO.

Officer.

Her mind stopped.

There was only one officer she knew of who knew about Scylla.

Who should know what happened to Scylla.

Shit.

Raelle tightened her grip on the leash and forced her body not to react as it dawned on her.

She had to get in touch with Anacostia.

Immediately. 

**Author's Note:**

> And....there we have it!
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed. If not...hope you enjoy the next story. Let me know what you think, please. You know how it works. Kudos. Comments. Reading. All gets you my unending adoration and cookies.
> 
> Special shoutout to a few special people who have listened to my complaints over this story as I wrote and rewrote it around 5 times. You are special troopers, and I appreciate you.


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